It's Not Just Rainy Days and Mondays That Get Me Down

So, it's the early hours of Saturday morning. 12.09 a.m in fact, as I begin writing this, and I've been hit with the dreaded insomnia bug again. It's a full moon (a blue moon actually - the second full moon of the calendar month, which isn't actually as rare as you'd think. There's at least one blue moon per year, as there are 13 full moons in any 12 month cycle.) and I've spent the last hour looking through Facebook posts and playing games, when I'd rather be a) sleeping or b) sitting out in the garden watching the moon travel across the sky.

What to do then? I wondered. And then a thought came to me. I'd write a blog post. But what about?

I was talking to someone earlier in a fibro support group that I belong to on Facebook, and a question had been asked about changing tastes. Did some foods and drinks that we used to enjoy taste different, even to the point of now being repulsive? The chat diverged from the original topic, as it is wont to do on occasion, and we started to talk about our musical tastes, and how we could not listen to certain music any more, because it was too loud, or to bassy, or to shouty.

I have pretty eclectic musical tastes. They run the gamut from Classical, through Jive, Punk, Rock, Metal, Jungle, Electro-pop, Garage, D&B, New Age, Folk.... you get the picture. Pretty much anything apart from Pop and C&W. And yes, I've noticed that my Mike Oldfield albums (easy listening for the most part, with some electro-funk, folk and Gospel scattered among it) get put on much more often than my Scooter and Iron Maiden albums do.

That led me to think about what else in my  life fibro has come to affect - without me even stopping to notice it. I prefer my clothes looser. (It stops that constricted feeling, especially on my legs). I prefer a lighter duvet, even if that means I feel chilly in the night. (The weight of even a 13.5 tog is too heavy, and hurts.) I sleep with my hands cradled into my chest. (As if protecting them, but they still ache like a bastard in the morning.) There are many more, but you don't really want me to tell you about them all, right?

No - before you say it - this is not a self pitying post. I don't want sympathy - sympathy doesn't stop the pain, or get me to sleep when the insomnia bug strikes, and it actually leaves me feeling guilty. There are plenty of people on the surface of this planet that have it much, MUCH worse than I do, and who deserve sympathy more than I ever will. But it was interesting to look at the changes that have occurred in my life over the last 5 - 6 years, and see how this illness has touched different areas, and made me change - and in some ways, that change has actually been positive. I've started really looking after myself in the last year or so - losing weight, getting as much physical exercise as I can.

But it does get me down too. Not being able to plan days out with the kids just in case mummy is in too much pain by the time that trip out comes around. Knowing that there are certain chores that need to be done, but doing the basics uses up all of my spoons for the day. (For a really good explanation of 'The Spoon Theory', click here.) Then there's the general depressive feeling that comes with just feeling so rotten all of the time - it's like the longest, most drawn out convalescence you could possibly imagine. And the constant pill popping - pain relief, anti-inflammatory meds, food supplements (I'm vit D deprived, apparently), sleeping tablets...... also the constant doctor and hospital visits for scans, blood tests, consultants appointments.......

Yeah. No self pity here. Well, maybe a bit. But it is now 12.44 a.m on a Saturday morning...... *winks*.....

Hello Monday!

So, it's the start of a brand new week, and the first full week of the children being on their summer holidays. If only the weather knew this! It's been horrid the last few days - more like autumn than summer. The garden is enjoying the rain - the children less so. Thankfully I have the 'Harry Potter' movie box set, and all my children appear to be wizardlings - no muggles here!

The weather is also very unkind to my body - fluctuations in heat kick off flares, damp sets into bones and muscles. I'm always more reliant on pain relief during wet, cold days, which I absolutely hate. I really dislike the way that my body lets me down.

But I do have ways of staving off the pain, and making use of the sometimes swimmy, far out feeling that my meds bring on. I mentioned in my first post that I colour, right? Well, that's what I do. I sit down with a fresh picture, pick my medium, and go for it.

Sharpies are always fun to use.

I'm a relative newbie to colouring. I've only been doing it for a couple of months, but have already accrued an impressive haul of colouring books and sheets. Some of my favourite images come from DeviantArt - there are a lot of line art pieces on the site that allow free downloads. But I also have some actual, physical colouring books - everything from the Relax with Art magazine to my current favourite, Doodle Invasion.

A completed image from Doodle Invasion.

I can't tell you how relaxing it is to just let your mind wander while you fill a white page with colour! It's very therapeutic, and you have something truly original at the end of it. It's been proven that colouring - or any other artistic endeavour! - is beneficial for those suffering from stress, depression, anxiety and a plethora of other mental health issues.

This one took quite a while, but I think it was worth it.

It's also something that you need not spend an absolute fortune on, unless you choose to. Stores own brand pencils, felt tips or markers will be more than adequate, or you can go the other way and spend hundreds of pounds on professional artists quality gear. If you're in the UK, check out your local B&M stores, W H Smiths or even Tesco, Morrisons and ASDA. All have a fab range of felt tips, penils, fine liners and marker pens. In the US check out your local grocery stores, Hobby Lobby and other office/stationary stores.

And no matter what you colour, in whichever medium, it's supposed to be FUN. So long as you have a good time doing it, and are happy with your result, it doesn't matter what anyone else thinks. You might not be the next van Gogh, but you might really have fun, like I do.

Allow me to introduce myself.

Line drawing from www.bergsma.com that I have coloured.

Hi, I'm Mandy, and I'll be your constant companion through these posts. I'm a mother to three and a partner to one who currently lives in Clacton, Essex, UK. I'm in my forties, a bit random, more than a little bit weird and pretty eclectic. As well as looking after the children and the house, I dabble in writing, knitting, crocheting, gardening and my new found love, colouring. Yes, you heard me right - colouring. It's not just for kids, you know!!

So, what's the purpose of this blog? Well, if I'm honest its purpose is many fold.  I am unlucky enough to suffer from Fibromyalgia (at least my rheumatologist and my doctor tell me that that will end up being my end diagnosis) which is a chronic condition that involves a lot of pain, memory and cognitive difficulties and mobility problems. If you've not heard of it before and would like to find out more about the condition, hop on over to the Fibroduck Foundation and have a read. So one of my main goals is to highlight an illness that not many people have heard of.

Another reason for the blog is so I can have something to focus on. With Fibro it can be difficult to string more than a couple of days together coherently - and if I blog about something - ANYthing - I can have a progression of days which, I'm hoping, will make sense.

And yes, I also want to share all the mad, brilliant, zany, creative and even sometimes boring stuff that I do. I want to show you the colourings I've completed, the mittens I've made, the poem I've written, the flowers I've grown in my garden, the culinary disasters and the weird stuff that I've found both in the real world and on the Internet.

So, with that said, are you still with me? Yes? Good.

Then buckle up.

You're in for one hell of a ride.....